This is an answer I gave to a question asked on the Yahoo! Answers website:
How can i communicate with my nephew which has autism?
i recently just found that my nephew has autism. it’s very hard for me to realize that he is not a normal toddler. he is very slow at things and has a failure to have social contact with kids his age, but yet not only kids but also his family. i want to know how i can communicate with him. what games i can play with him? all we know is that he has mild autism. so what things can i do to help him??
uhhyah_iloveu18
[http://answers.yahoo.com/my/profile;_ylt=AtwUgcd2kK8jLfl1LDpZmxPkxQt.;_ylv=3?show=QE1DzM5Taa]
Arvoitin [this is my Yahoo name]
First of all, autism has different ways of presenting itself. I assume from the way you have worded the question that you are already communicating with your nephew. That’s the place to start. Don’t let the diagnosis make you nervous or different around him – he’s sure to notice the difference.
The first thing I suggest is to accept him as is. Avoid condemnation of any sort. He can show you how to communicate with him if you let him do the leading. If he is verbal, be sure to avoid hidden meanings behind your words. They may mean something completely different to him. He may well have games he enjoys – ask him to show you how to play with him. If he can’t do that, watch him entertain himself and take your ideas from that. Learn what he likes and doesn’t like, and where his abilities lie.The autistic brain is different from the standard brain. Things that are obvious to you will not be obvious to him. But you may find that things obvious to him are not to you as well. Unlike you, he was not born with the standard inborn social instincts and has to study others and figure out what everything means, then learn them by rote. This can be extremely overwhelming.
Self stimulatory behavior (like rocking, hand flapping, thumb sucking, spinning, etc.,) is not as it sounds. Most of us with PDD/Autism do this when we are overwhelmed and need to refocus and calm ourselves. Many times the standard person will assume we are merely “immature” or “undisciplined” or trying to “entertain ourselves”. (Many of us are OVER disciplined and condemned, by our family as well as by society). More often it is an attempt to self-treat a sensory integration dysfunction. If he does these things in inappropriate places it may be possible to help him to switch to more socially acceptable “techniques”. Use a consistent cue that does not bring attention to him, but that he will recognize as such.
He may do things “inside out” from your perspective. He probably avoids eye contact, but this does not mean he doesn’t want to relate to you. You may read that he fails to empathize, but this is probably NOT TRUE. He cannot show you how he feels as easily as others can, or he may show you ineffectively. He may also be unsure how to interpret what you do and express, or to show you that he DOES empathize.
Please remember that he has to figure out on his own the social communications that come to most people naturally. You CAN help him by lovingly communicating with him and not being judgmental toward him. He wants and needs love. He also needs security and stability and patience.
Recently some good information is starting to become available. Autism is part of the Autism Spectrum or the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) Spectrum which also includes Aspergers and ADHD. Mild autism may also be called different things by different doctors, some even calling it aspergers, although there are differences. The important thing is to study your nephew and learn about him, and to gently teach him how to interpret and respond to others in every aspect of life.
Some of us with high functioning autism or aspergers are beginning to make headway into the tangle of information available. One reference I would suggest is Dr. Temple Grandin, a very high functioning autistic with a fortunately supportive family history. Much of what she says is excellent, although some does not apply ubiquitously. There are also other references from various autism or PDD organizations that are worth reading.
I congratulate you on your interest in helping your nephew. He and his family have a long and perilous road to maneuver as he grows, but your love for him will reap rewards.
One more thing. Most of us also have some combination of the various sensory integration disorders, which basically means we are either too sensitive to, or less than usually sensitive to the various sensory stimuli. I strongly recommend you learn about these as well!
I wish you the very best
Filed under: A Few Basic Concepts, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Previously Written Articles, ADD, ADHD, ASD, asperger's, attention, attention deficit disorder, atypical autism, autism, autism spectrum disorder, childhood schizophrenia, cultural standards, focus, friendship, hyperactivity, minimal brain dysfunction, PDD, perceptual, pervasive developmental disorders, relationships, sensory integration, SID
